Your intelligence and conceit are your biggest shortcomings
Whenever someone asked me about the proudest characteristic of myself, I would raise my head, smile unconsciously, and told them about my “structured brain”.
I was always the top student, who was cherished by all the teachers, since primary school because of my “intelligent”.
People around me praised me for my “intelligent”, and some would assume that as my greatest strength.
But there was a person who always put his thumb down on me — my father.
“I know you are smart, conceited, and intelligent, but these are your shortcomings as well.”
My father was the only person who discouraged the proudest assets about me. He repeated this statement every three days a week, which became a sound that seemed to try beating my confidence — of course, I was too proud to feel bad about myself.
I couldn’t understand the meaning behind his actions other than discouraging me. I still worked, as usual, — led my team and guided them with the strategies that came out of my idea.
The invisible boundary
I thought my ideas were great, my leadership was meaningful and my actions were wonderful — not until I got a stressful message from one of my team members (let us assume he was John).
In his message, John told me that every system in the team was great. It was extremely systematic and effective. But here came the problem.
He said that he was extremely stressed by the team. He felt he was not fitted in the team as it seemed to be too “perfect” — he wanted to give up and leave.
I knew it wasn’t John’s problem. He was a fantastic guy with innovative ideas that helped the team a lot. His positivity always motivated the team to stay productive.
So, what was going wrong?
I wondered hard, failed to sleep for the entire night after receiving his message, trying to figuring out the hidden problem.
I urged, knowing what factor was making this awesome guy wanted to leave the team.
I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply, and the statement that was told by my father popped into my mind — intelligence and thoughtfulness were my shortcomings.
The problem of my “intelligence”
Thanks to my “intelligence”, my mind would automatically perform a solution for me right understanding the problem — even though the problem is in a complex structure.
I forgot about tolerance among people because my ability has become a habit in my life,
Here is an example to explain this situation.
Assumed that I could finish an enormous bottle of wine without drinking, but each of my members could only stay conscious within one small glass.
My request for them to drink an entire bottle of wine is unreasonable. It was an act of not being considered for their abilities. It was more than selfish behavior.
John’s message helped me to realize that I was too focused on my capabilities and forgot about their abilities.
My mistake was making my team members suffering to complete the tasks.
Takeaway
Appreciate your “intelligence”. Nevertheless, you should always remember you are working in a team.
You should always reconsider the abilities of different people and reallocate the tasks based on their capabilities.
If he could handle a bottle of whiskey, giving him a cup of wine won’t make him satisfied; if she could only finish a sip of rum, pouring her a big cup of whiskey would make her feeling overwhelming.
The problem of my “conceit”
Holding strong opinions is great as a leader, as leaders are always responsible to decide.
However, my problem was having extremely strong self opinions and always thought my ideas were the best.
As I mentioned earlier, John was a smart guy with powerful ideas, and my actions were rejecting and restricting his potential — I knew I had to fix it.
Most of the time, I was assuming all my ideas would work the best, and this concept made me neglected some wonderful ideas from my teammates.
It was just like I was only buying chocolate for my friends and family because I liked it, not because I had considered it for them.
If this concept was never be changed, I would never try another flavor as well, like strawberries or pumpkin.
Takeaway
While working in a team, gathering ideas and information from team members is crucial.
Most of the time, this process should be messy and unordered because of the abundance of ideas, but the outcome will be powerful as you are reinforcing the spirit of a team.
A person can come out with powerful and thoughtful ideas that no one would doubt, but a team can come out with a strong and miracle idea that everyone will buy.
Conclusion
Every individual is smart and unique in their ways — no one is more special than the other.
I am smart and intelligent, but I am not good at elevating strong relationships with my team.
Most leaders could take my experience as a lesson, a piece of advice to improve the spirit in your team — don’t make your intelligence become your shortcoming.
